I'm such a dick!

I really am! Thats what peoples first impressions of me must be! Now I'm going to sound very sorry for myself in this blog post but fuck it... better out then in!

I make out I'm this amazing, care free guy... when really I'm the exact opposite. I do care what people thing... I'm not that amazing! What do you see when you first see me? To most people... a puff, a queen! When you wanna know something... despite what you might think... I'm not! Sure it might be obvious I'm queer... when you talk to me... I don't make it obvious. I have a personality don't I! My life isn't revolved around handbags and Vogue Magazine!

I'm fed up of being spoke to like shit! Sure I'm proud of the fact I'm quite blunt with people... but never would I talk to someone like shit... just for the sake of it... so don't talk to me like that!

First impressions of me... what our they? Most likely negative! Right? How can you keep telling yourself your a great person when so many people put you down. You can't? And evenutally you start to live up to reality. Your not the person you'd like to be.

I hate hating myself! So I put all those emotions in a tiny box in the back of my mind... but sooner or later that tiny box can't fit all the feelings you've kept lock inside. So they come spilling out! And your left to clean the mess up.

I'm such a dick!

A big sorry to the masses!

Recently I have realised something... something that I never wanted to ever happen in my life. I think it is all part and part of growing up and having important priorities but in the past few months (looking back now) I feel my priorities have all been to do with work and other related issues.

Without sounding like every other person on the internet but my life is focused a lot around the people I love, friends, family etc. But unfortunately I feel I haven't been giving these people my time. I'm finding it harder and harder to see people, whether its going out with the fags to manchester or just having a brew and a chat with an individual. And I'm not liking the situation.

Sure I still love them all and I don't feel I am growing appart from anyone I just feel that all my close friends I don't see as often as I would like to.

God I sound pathetic... there are worse things to worry about in life. So I hope this blog post doesn't come across as superficial.

Anyway I'm sorry to all those I love if lately I haven't seen much. But hopefully soon when I get a routeen back in my life you will once about be my number one priority.

:D

I'm so proud!

Of my big sister!

She got a 1st in here degree!!!!!!!

Well done Kat!

x

Love Your Friends

I was talking to one of my mates the other day about love. Love is one of the most complex and interesting topic everyone experiences on a daily basis. Whether its the love of your Starbucks Latte, or you love what you have done to your hair or even if its just the special feelings you have for someone in your life... there is usually only a small time span between each time we feel love for something.

Me and my friend discussed true love. Loving your Starbucks Latte isn't love... its a clone of a feeling you can only describe as love, but deep down you tell yourself that it is love and end up believing it. But the fact is love isn't exactly as great as society makes out. When a feeling of happiness falls upon you, love is a strong connotation of this emotion. So thus love is linked with happiness. Wrong. If love was that simple, then life would be simple. The simple feeling you have for a pair of Vivienne Westwood heels isn't true love. Its a copy.

I ramble on like I know what I'm talking about. But what I say is just my opinion. It isn't solid fact. I'm not trying to patronise anyone by making out I know the "in's" and "out's" of what love really is, because lets face it, I don't. Know one really does.

Recently I have fallen for someone. A friend. Do I tell them? I don't know? Do I really like them? That to I really don't know. Being single you always think the grass is greener on the other side and vise verser. So could these feelings just be respect I have for my friend and my mind is turning them into something more, something to try and fill an empty subconsious hole in my life. What are these feelings I speak of anyway. Is it love? Do I love my friend? Or do I just "love" my friend? Who knows.

The best solution to love is through time. Over time love can fizzle out, grow, or even fizzle out and then grow back. Time heels all wounds. Time allows things to blossom.

What a hangover?

Heres the deal. I'm embracing my single lifestyle. Every single single person has at some point said... "I love being single... I feel so free... So alive" and all the other cliche bullshit people try and convince themselves they actually believe when really... they're lying. Well in recent weeks I have turned these cliche declaratives into reality! I'm actually enjoying being single... and replacing a cock with a drink or two or three instead. And you wanna know something I'm having the time of my life.

For example last night... I went out with my gayboys, and had one of the best nights of my life! Sure I got off with guys... let a few guys grope me here and there... but this time it was for different reasons. Before hand if I got off with a guy and he decided to feel my bum or insisted I stroked his "big hard cock" I did it because I thought it made me feel good about myself... made me feel attractive... made me feel wanted... then the whole "Wanna come back to my house" conversation came up... and being a bit insercure the answer was usually ok... because I felt I need to carry on letting this guy grope me in order to make me feel better. But in past weeks my approach towards these guys... the ones who think if they shove a sambucca down your throat they can shove a finger up your arse... if I get off with someone... whether they are a gentleman or not... its because I want to... not because I need to. I'm doing things because I find it fun, not because I think its fun. I'm taking control of situations and saying no because I know the next day I wish I had said no. Sure this has resulted in a dry patch for me when it comes to getting laid. But I really don't care.

I'm happy and content... and even the biggest, hardest cock from the sexiest guy which would last a night can't make me feel any better then I do right now

:)

Why does she piss me off sooooooo much?

Right I've just watched loose women, a program I used to love and found quite entertaining. But recently I have come to realise the novelty of the program has worn off and I've come to see that the so called 'Loose' women are just a bunch of childish middle ages women who think they have strong moral opinions, when really they talk a load of bollocks!

Jackie Brandels- looks like she's been dragged through a hedge backwards. Come on love... your the main presenter of the show... at least book in for a blowdry before you go on air.

Coleen- her personality is expressed through her tits. Every joke, declarative or when ever a handsome male guest comes on the show... her tits always have to have a mention! Put them alway pal... your hardly showing how much of strong minded woman you really are when every conversation begins with you feeling your knockers!

Carol- Now I used to like Carol. She was the type of woman you'd wanna go out with and get hammered with... because that was all she seemed to be interested in... having a good time. Then she completely contradicted herself and got herself a young toy boy... sure women do have needs... but still you let me down!

Jane- Where do I begin... common and loud! Yet she is still classed as classy because she shops at NEXT!

But the worse woman on that show (forgive me if I've mentioned her before when bloggering but she is really started to get on my tits!) The Malteaser woman on the sponser advert!

Will someone shoot her please! 190 calories... you need new ways to b naughty. I'm not being funny but at the rate of packets of malteasers she's eating I think she's being more then a little 'naughty'. Maybe thats all she eats! Malteasers! God you won't invited her round for tea would you? All she'd do is eat a packet of malteasers and do something naughty!

Well do you wanna know what you are love

An annoying fucking, ugly, fat, pedamorphic, plain, common, typical boring bitch... who makes every single woman in this country look bad!

Just fuck off!

x

Mad Libs!

I'm bord so I'm doing Mad Libs online and amusing myself

Here are some of them

Learn to be rock star!

I'm at a new school. Its name is “The Mark Heaton School for Rock Stars.” The courses here are fat!

My first assignment is to learn to play the spoons and sing like a rock star. To be a good rock star, I'm supposed to hump around a lot, to finger across the stage, and to wank at the audience. I did not act like that at my old school, so I think I'll have to work on it for a while; this will be interesting homework.

My second assignment is to learn to have an entourage, which is a group of people that always seems to follow around a rock star. I have a lot of friends, but for this assignment I suddenly have 9000001 people following me around, telling me how hairy I am, how they really like my thong, and how I am the most ugly person ever. I can't be sure, but I think they are just saying that.

My final assignment is to put on a rock concert. I have to arrive in a(n) shag wagon and walk the green carpet, past all the fucking fans with cameras flashing in my face. Then, when I get inside, my entourage will be there and I will rim with them to the stage. Next, I'll perform 13 songs, all while pooing across the stage, singing, and fisting at the audience. This will be the toughest final exam I've ever had, and the one I'll never forget!

(sorry about this one... I honestly couldn't stop laughing though when I read it)

The Camping Trip

It was a cold, perverted night. Vicky and Karen licked out around the campfire, boning songs and eating bananas.
Soon they got tired, climbed into their douche bags, and eventually fell asleep. Suddenly, they were both wide awake. There was a loud groping sound outside the tent. Karen grabbed Vicky's fury gorge and held on for dear life. Vicky started chanting, “Lions and pubes and herpies, oh my!” over and over again.
Then into their tent fell their friend Toni. Toni had been thirsty and had gone into the house for some piss. Now the piss was on the floor of their tent. But they all had a good laugh and went back to sleep.
It turned out to be a very fit camping trip. And maybe next time they'll even leave Karen's backyard.

(I'm so sorry kids!)