How thoughtful are those people at Boots?

Now its getting nearer christmas... and most people instead of going out partying with there other halves might decide inside to stay in, instead of going out in the bitterly cold weather. You all know what its like... dim lights... log fire... the royal variety performance on tv. And then one thing leads to another... and your at it like rabbits. Sure this most likely the stereotypical thought of a romantic night in when really its a few cans, a take way pizza and a quick shag... but nevertheless those clever people at Boots are ready and stocked up for the occasion.

When walking into Boots yesterday... one of the first things I saw where Durex condoms. Sure for a one night stand a few condoms is all you need... but no... Boots are prepared for making that romantic night in a little bit more... intension. As next to them where a huge variety of Durex lubricants... which is apparently "All you need". The you have your typical cock rings and body lotions... to bring Christmas 2008 in with a bang... literally.

And what I was most impressed was... next to all these... pregnancy tests. See! How clever? Obv the managers where thinking...

"Right everyone its Christmas... lets make sure the shelves are fully stocked up with Durex this and Durex that... and don't forget to put some pregnancy tests next to them... I mean lets face it... if you've got a bun in the oven... what more you want for Christmas".

So all I can say is... Well done Boots! I like your thinking.

Only problem is... for the sad singletons like myself... your just rubbing it in our faces

You evil, evil, BASTARDS!

Happy Holidays

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How Much Of a Faghag are you?

Right I want to get something straight, just because you hang out with a queer... doesn't automatically make you a faghag... there are rules and regulations you have to go by in order to become a faghag. And here they are.

1. Most importantly... someone who says they are a faghag... is not a faghag. Its like being cool. To be cool you don't go round telling everyone your cool... you just know... or other people say it to you. A true faghag doesn't brag about her gay best friend, their gay best friend brags about them.
2. You must be good looking. There is no such thing as a ugly faghag...
3. You must have been shopping with your gay bff. Primark doesn't count.
4. Your gay bff must no the in's and out's or your personal life. If you feel to ashamed, and miss out the knitty gritty details... your not a faghag.
5. You must like a drink or two... or three... or four.
6. You must be able to walk into a club with ur gayboy and look bord. That way you look like you own the place.
7. You must be willing to shut up for most of the time in a conversation with your fag and be able to listen to them talk about nothing but themselves.
8. You must act like you love yourself more then your fag. No faghag should depend on their fag... otherwise they just look like a P.A.
9. Quotes like "Me and my gay best friend go shopping" aren't allowed. People should be saying to you I wish I had a gayboy to go shopping with.
10. Your gay comes before your guy!
11. Your guy must like your gay.
12. The scene is a good night out... not a let down because there isn't anyone to get off with.
13. Class is essential!
14. You must enjoy the following films: - Bring it On, Mean Girls, Sex and the City, Clueless
15. You must enjoy the following musicians: - Britney, Madonna, Kylie

Follow these points and you'll have a gay old time

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Damn common people!

Guess what guys and girls! I've joined a gym! Thats right... I'm actually getting off my backside and getting fit. There once was a time when the idea of going the gym seemed like being kicked in the nuts... but I've actually grown to like going... and I feel its got to a point where I can add it on my CV under "Hobbies and Interests". So now if I hand a CV into a protencial employer they'll be thinking... was a young, independant man... we'll want him to work at our place.

What I like the most about the gym is I feel I have become a Yuppie... a young professional. I commute to my work placement and buy frappachinos from Starbucks. I own a fashionable trench coat, from Topman... but if anyone asks, its D&G ;) I carry around a man-bag with my, aka a puff bag... but still it goes well with my River Island scarf... and I listen to Radio1. I'm not a college student... I'm a trainee hairdresser I'll have you know... and I'm loving life as one of the many people who experience the hussle and bussle of work life.

Now at this point of my blog I'm sure your all thinking "Well why is the subject of his post, sound so angry towards the common people of the world". Well let me get onto that part.

I've been ill today... stomach pains... but after having about 5 poos today I think I've shit the bastard out my system and I'm feeling much better. So I thought whilst I'm on the mens I'll nip to the gym. Anyway my gym is the Profiles gym at the Robin Park Arena. To my dissapointment their must have been some sort of event on at the JJB. So the car park was packed! But the clever people who work at Robin Park made a nice little One way system around the car park... so that all the common people of the world could easily drive around looking for a hopeful space. Anyway some of these people where obviously to stupid to master this one way system and ended up driving the opposite way round towards me. Now if this was one person I would understand and without sounding sexist I'd just tut to myself "woman driver" or if I'm being more specific "woman driver driving a Land Rover discovery with 3 children in the back and an embarassed looking husband in the passenger seat. But it wasn't just one car going the wrong way it was several! This ment I think had to reverse all the way round this tight one way system... being careful not to crash into any of the randomly parked cars on curbs etc.

Damn common people!!!!!!!!!!!

How hard is it to use a one way system... obviously it must be too hard for some!

So in the end I got fed up and drove home. So thanks to them idiots I missed out on a Friday evening workout! Hope your happy with yourselves!!!!!!

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